Be Unapologetically You

When I was younger I tried to be everyone else but me. I thought that I wasn't enough of anything, and that I was always in the middle of everything. I wasn't quirky enough to be considered quirky,  I wasn't cool enough to hang with the cool kids, I wasn't angry enough to start a revolution, and there was even a time when I thought that I wasn't sad enough to be depressed. And the thing is that it wasn't that I wasn't enough for other people, I wasn't enough for myself. Or at least I thought that I wasn't. I spent so much time stuck in my head, thinking that I had to be more, more of something, more of anything, when in reality I just had to get comfortable with myself. 

When I turned 20, I decided that even though I wasn't quite sure who I was, no one else would know that. I developed this fake confidence, and stuck to the motto "fake it till you make it". I thought that I had become more free and let my true self show, but the more that I "faked it", the more that I found myself separating from who I truly was. Eventually I found myself depressed because I wasn't dealing with who I actually was, and it was taking a huge toll on me. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, and I could barely move. It took me a couple of years to figure out why I was depressed and how I was going to get myself out of it. 

After what I felt was a lifetime, I finally came out of the depression; with not just help from friends and a therapist, but also with a huge push from myself. I realized that you can't change unless you are ready to. I was finally able to allow myself to be, well me.

I tell you all of this, because it took me 22 years to become myself and I won't allow anybody else to make me feel bad or put me down because of it.

I am a huge weirdo, who is sometimes loud and bossy, who is sometimes quiet, who sometimes likes to be alone, who loves musicals, who loves to sing badly (even though I can hold a note, singing badly is just more fun), who loves to create, and I will NEVER apologize for who I am. And you shouldn't either. 

It also took me a long time to figure out that the people who truly love you, won't try to make you apologize for who you are. If you feel pressure to change who you are (and I mean who you truly are to the core of your being, not the person that you may pretend to be), then you may want to surround yourself with different people.

BE YOU!

Be weird, be loud, be quiet, be creative, be brave, be crazy, be wild, be free. Be yourself, unapologetically.

It takes so long to figure out who you are, so don't be anybody else. 

As Always,

A